i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
