did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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