Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
