Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
