Only a mothe r could love this liver
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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