just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
