Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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