The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
