6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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