hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
