It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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