I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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