just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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