so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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