She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
