i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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