Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
