Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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