It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
