he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
