franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
