Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I want a musical about memes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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