Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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