i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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