idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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