Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
