Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park