I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more