One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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