I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
