Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
