I can tuck mytits in my pants
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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