Are we in a gay sports bar?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
