Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
