I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
