Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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