Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
