she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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