dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
