Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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