worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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