she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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