if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
