I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize