he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
