thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
