she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
