oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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