chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can you bring me the toilet please
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
