dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
