We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
