How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
