It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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