we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
