Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
