When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
