Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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