I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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