if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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