Nicole vs. Life
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
