even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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