Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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