I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
