I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
