All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
