Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize