shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
